Separation Anxiety and Baby Knowledge

While we were on vacation in Georgia, my parents took Stella for a night and Jeff and I had a night of baby-freedom in Savannah. We drank margartias and strolled along the riverfront, had a cocktail on the rooftop patio of a swanky hotel and ate waaaaaay to much at one of the top restaurants in Savannah. A great grown up evening, that we had been looking forward to for weeks. But, that didn't mean there weren't a few tears shed before we left (me, not Stella). It's so difficult to walk away from her not knowing how she'll handle things, or if her caretaker will be able to understand what she needs.

Stella did fantastic of course. Her schedule has gotten so much more predictable that it's much easier for me to tell baby sitters what to expect. She feeds the same way everyday and even naps have become vaguely the same. But so much of her day is knowing her signals and anticipating her needs. It's all become instinct now and we've got a good thing going. I can't even begin to explain the "way" I do things. The ritual of mealtimes, naptimes and bathtime are intrinsic and happen between us like clockwork. I know when we've waited too long for naptime and we have to pull out the big sleep guns. Our days flow and are over in the blink of an eye.

Which leads of course to the daunting task of finding a daycare, or care provider for next year. As pointed out so sadly, we're in the second half of our first year, which if the day to day pace continues, I'll be on my way to heading back to work before I know it. I've been putting it off for months, but due to the horrible daycare situation in Toronto, it's best to get on waiting lists frequently and early. We've got a couple options laid out, and today I added our names to 2 more daycare centres in the neighbourhood. There's so many pros and cons to contemplate; locations, nanny vs centre, costs, and of course what works best for Miss Stella. It's an inevitable, and I know many many mommies have gone down the route before me, but I would still rather remain in a blissful ignornant dream.